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Shirin, its a nice attempt and I am sure you may / will have pieces which are even better than this one. Just a few observations .... The essence of a humorous piece is to allow the story to flow at a fair clip, which does not happen in this one. Also, it had much too many complicated words for natural humour - when was the last time someone laughed at your joke without understanding it? And finally, too blatantly Wodehouse. Try not to tinker with a style which is established as the hallmark of another.
But good effort ya. Shall W for your N.
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| Posted by ... Roy |
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on Thursday, May 21 2009
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Dear sir,
I must say, what wonderful writing and what a unique perspective indeed! Rather unexplored territory but you have done wonderful job of bringing it alive. And with some sublime language, if I may add!
Bets regards, Abhijith
(PS - I'm not sure you remember me - I'm Capt Karthik's horse riding friend you had helped get accommodation at the NDA)
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| Posted by ... Abhijith Karthikeya |
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on Sunday, April 26 2009
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well, a real nice work. I think i have to sit with you more often to enjoy, this part of you. Keep the good work going and hopefully someday i will be able to grasp the real meaning of all.
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| Posted by ... Anand Swaroop |
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on Thursday, April 23 2009
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That was really a good effort , the thought was very well narrated , enjoyed reading , let your pen unfolds your thought in future.........all the best !
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| Posted by ... Radhika shrungarakar |
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on Tuesday, April 21 2009
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Nice story, Shirin, and very well written too. That was anice thought, to write about a pen, but not too surprising coming from you, given your sensitivity, but also because of your special love for instruments (writing or playing!). Enjoyed reading this, hope to read more in the future...
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| Posted by ... Shubhangi Deshmukh |
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on Monday, April 20 2009
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A thought provoking story which indeed makes one realise that life exists in every form. A must read. Looking forword for moresuch interesting reads.
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| Posted by ... Abhijit Mahajan |
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on Sunday, April 19 2009
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Whew! that was one hell of a salvo, missed me by a kilometer and hit the target i guess ? i hope you are not planning to make a mid course correction. good show, great effort, keep up the good work, waiting for the next salvo.
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| Posted by ... Bose |
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on Saturday, April 18 2009
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Nice to learn that I can share an additional taste with you.
Maiden effort is really good. Keep up the show. Hope to be seen here soon.
Now I know where to tap for some resources that require a different type of perception!
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| Posted by ... yjadon |
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on Friday, April 17 2009
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Good one as expected..... ........ Ph D in English would have helped me to get a hang of it !!!! Well done ...let go the your pen for greater glory.
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| Posted by ... VK Gudi |
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on Thursday, April 16 2009
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Rich vocab. Ok concept. The plot doesn't move though. Remember, storyline is ALWAYS supreme. With that in place, words automatically begin to flow and fit the narrative.
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| Posted by ... Jyotsna Atre |
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on Thursday, April 16 2009
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I great reading. The story is very short but interesting. The author has beautifully described the pen, the story aptly justifies the saying "Pen is mightier than the sword"
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| Posted by ... SK Gupta |
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on Thursday, April 16 2009
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